Lady Gwenllian Tudor, the lady of the island and former resident of the infamous Tudor Mansion, thinks how her life has come full circle — not unlike the Zodiac wheel.
Perhaps she thought for so long and so hard that her mind is as frosted over as the ground under the February snow moon.
She reads an invitation to the Tudor Mansion’s first un-masquerade ball.
“Breaking our ancient tradition, we will not host our annual masquerade ball tonight. Instead, report to the lounge of the Tudor Mansion for the Game Piece Reveal Party. Find out the true identity of Miss Scarlet and her clones,” says the gold-lettered invitation sent via drone.
Lady Tudor had grown accustomed to wearing yoga pants and half-heartedly braiding her hair to the side of her face. And she isn’t even sure if she knows how to find her way back.
Another drone delivers a ballgown with what feels like a steel reinforced brassiere to support even the floppiest cleavage.
When Gwenllian arrives at the Tudor Mansion wearing emerald slippers and matching green ribbons braided in her hair, she has to open the door herself as the Butler was laid-off. Mrs. White criticizes Lady Tudor’s appearance, much to her chagrin.
Her cheeks red, Lady Tudor follows the arrow signs that lead to the Lounge where she used to attend editorial meetings.
“Where have you been? You just disappeared,” Mrs. Peacock chastises Lady Tudor. “You missed all your assignments which meant I had to get my television camera operator to fill me in on what’s going on. What is going on? What is the party about?”
Professor Plum chuckles.
“What’s going on is that the world nearly dropped dead inside of Lady Tudor’s head just like that insipid Sylvia Plath poem she likes so much. Our Lady Lazarus has returned from the dead so she can learn the identity of Miss Scarlet and her clones.”
Everyone in the Tudor Mansion gathers in a circle for the Game Piece Reveal and press conference.
Miss Scarlet makes a grand entrance with several of her super model clones dressed to kill.
Colonel Mustard writes in the air — his words glowing on the “air board” like florescent markers on a dry-erase board.
“Miss Scarlet is Scarlet Fever,” he feverishly scribbles. “Miss Scarlet’s clones acquired super-antigen toxins. Welcome supercharged bacterial clones. Tells us all of your secrets.”
Lady Tudor looks at Professor Plum as if the INTJ has the answers to what’s confusing her.
Mrs. White crosses her arms defensively before tearing up the confidential case file.
“Fine. I never told you that you that Miss Scarlet is Scarlet fever. I didn’t think you would remember having Scarlet Fever as a baby. It was your fault really for not being old enough to tell me you had a sore throat. You just screamed and screamed and screamed.”
Lady Tudor looks out the windows to see falling snow. Her mind drifts.
Meet me halfway
Across the sky
Out where the world belongs
To only you and I…
Miss Scarlet and her clones complain that there is not enough to eat without the Butler around.
“Who is the host?” Miss Scarlet demands. “Where are my party pizzas? Didn’t anyone order my pizzas?”
“Perhaps you are feeling the Hunger Moon,” Professor Plum speculates. “Best to starve a fever. But I do recommend Miss Scarlet and her clones take off all of their clothes and roll around in the snow drifts. Miss Scarlet is hot if you get my snow drift.”
Lady Tudor thought Professor Plum had been permanently banned from the mansion for reasons such as this. He has made progress, though. Indeed, some progress.
Suddenly, Lady Tudor thinks of the missing Game Piece.
“He doesn’t exist,” Colonel Mustard says reading her mind.
“If he doesn’t exist, how is it that you know him to be a he?” Lady Tudor retorts.
Miss Scarlet gives her clones the signal to break away while everyone focuses on Lady Tudor and Colonel Mustard’s exchange. Colonel Mustard scoffs at Lady Tudor for being only a half psychic.
Mrs. Peacock holds open the door for Miss Scarlet, telling her in a hushed voice, “I want an exclusive interview about the outbreak. Promise me.”
“I promise, darling,” Miss Scarlet says as she and her clones head for the snow-covered city, leaving behind a trail of gaudy but glittery clothes, high heels and accessories.
Meet me halfway
Across the sky
Make this a new beginning of another life. — Kenny Loggins, ‘Meet me Half Way’