Comedy

Satire: How Thinking Types Ruin Stock Market Fun

If our INTJ friends starred in their own television show, it would be reminiscent of Adam Ruins Everything. Logic and rationality is overrated — particularly when it comes to magic fairy dust (AKA money). Ever since my INTJ friend got into the stock market, my enthusiasm for stock trading has plummeted to a 52-week low.

Talking about the stock market with him is like trying to go for a hike to enjoy the fresh air and scenery with a fitness trainer who nags you about staying in your fat-burning zone.

Hide your liquor, Ethel, because the Daughters of Temperance just came calling. And, tonight promises to be a total buzz kill.

When a thinking type gets into stocks, people start singing dirges in the dark as the Bollinger Band plays a somber funeral tune. Red and green “candlesticks” no longer feel Merry or festive.

I’m feeling bearish trading sentiment toward this INTJ dude but I’m counting on my covered call to save me. In other words, I’m hoping he is an option that someone will exercise and call away so I can go back to my INFJ bliss. Sweet ignorant trading-on-a-whim bliss.

INFJ and INTJ different mentalities about investing and money highlights many of the basic differences between thinkers and feelers.

INFJs and INTJs both lead with introverted intuition — so intuitive hunches still play a role in decisions. As an extroverted feeler, I like analyzing people but don’t like to analyze stocks. Numbers are forgettable — particularly after a birthday. Charts are tedious unless it’s an astrological compatibility chart.

I didn’t need to know about the P/E ratio (price-to-earning) ratio of TSLA to know that Elon Musk is the god, El.

Like the god El (and Jesus of Nazareth), stocks, too, are magic.

That being said, INTJs often make great scientists and mathematicians. Extroverted thinkers, INTJs store a vast bank of facts and figures. On the other hand, INTJs are known to wear a lot of gray.

And sometimes, the world needs pastels — and textures such as cashmere, suede and silk. When it comes to futures, it’s all about fashion. We’ve got to look good for the Roaring 2020s.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *